“Within you there is a stillness and sanctuary to which you can retreat at anytime and be yourself.”
~Hermann Hesse
I just returned from dropping my daughters off at the airport, and on this summer Tuesday morning, the lines were long. From check-in counter to security to baggage claim, people stood in mostly orderly lines, quietly talking, texting on cell phones or just staring off into space, nudging the suitcase forward a few feet at a time as the line advanced. I was struck by the level of patience and trust exhibited by each person. Nobody, at least in our line, seemed concerned they wouldn’t eventually get to the ticket counter. Nobody seemed to be checking to see if other people in line were doing it better, or looking over their shoulders to see if anybody was coming up from behind who might pass them. For most people, standing in line at the airport has a known outcome. You will wait your turn, and when you get to the front of the line, in exchange for your paid ticket or e-ticket confirmation number, you will get a boarding pass. Whether you produce your identification from a Coach handbag or a brown paper bag, hold two doctoral degrees or barely made it through third grade, you’re going to exit the line with the same outcome as everyone else.
There’s a sense of freedom in being able to relax into a known outcome. But what if the rules changed? Suddenly it becomes known that only a percentage of people who are in the line will actually get a boarding pass. Furthermore, nobody is clear about the requirements. In fact, to some observers the process seems entirely random. If I look around the line now, I might see people looking angry or defensive, preparing to do battle with the ticket counter agent. I might see people flipping open their cell phones, dialing numbers of “people in charge” or “someone who owes me one.” I might also see people looking defeated and hopeless, even getting out of line and giving up. What has really changed? The line, the people, the airline, the destination – everything remains the same, except the certainty of the outcome of standing in line.
What if we could carry the feeling of relaxed calm from the first line, into the situation of the second line? After all, nothing has changed at this point except our belief. Most things in life are not as predictable as standing in line for a boarding pass. We do what we can, but we can’t guarantee the results. So in each moment really our only choice is how we react. And that may sound simple but it’s a complex chain reaction, often beginning with an unconscious thought or feeling, leading to an action (such as getting angry, trying to manipulate or giving up) that is more a habit than a conscious choice. The first step to breaking that chain is to become aware that the chain exists – to notice. If I can catch myself giving into self-doubt (wow, I’m getting out of line, I’m giving up), I’m taking a first step toward change. The more times I can do that, the less easily I’ll be able to convince myself that I didn’t have any choice or that it was someone else’s fault. Later, I may be able to go a little further. I might think: “wow, I’m getting out of line. Well, I’m doing it because I know I didn’t purchase the ticket right on the computer so I might as well get out of line now instead of waiting to be told I screwed it up again.” Now there’s a belief, in language, that can be confronted and examined. Even if it is true, what is under that belief? That nobody will help me resolve my mistake? That I’m a bad person because I’m not adept at making internet purchases? Step by step and layer by layer, it’s possible to unravel thought until we come to stillness. When we can get to that, and it may be a long journey, we can approach the ease of the travelers in the first ticket line. We know that underneath all the circumstances that can happen, the thoughts we can have, we always bring with ourselves a certainty that we are simply who we are. It is not in comparison to other people that we find our center, but by looking within. It can take a long time to know myself and to recognize my own voice in the crowd of others, but I haven’t met anyone yet who didn’t think it was time well spent. Once we find that stillness within, it’s ours – a place of rest and renewal available to us whenever we choose to visit it. At that point, it won’t matter which line we’re standing in, because we will know exactly who it is who is standing there. ~ Linda Firth (c) 2007
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